1. They never told me trading was hard.  Or anything that resembled work at all, really.

2. I never got told that 90% of traders fail – in fact I got told anyone could trade, and that it was especially lucrative if you did it while lounging by the pool.

3. They failed to mention that I would have to dig into my past, unravel my mind and battle a few demons in order to have any chance of succeeding.

4. Or that trading would generously provide me with the most hideously earth-shattering moment of my life.

5. They must’ve forgotten to tell me that it’s not possible for trading to provide the startlingly ecstatic opposite of Number 4; that those amazing moments come from things that aren’t, in fact, things.

6.  I must’ve glossed over the bit where it said that I would have to morph, at times, into the epitome of nerdiness – the likes of which have previously only been observed in accountants and mathematician.

7.  Also hidden in the fine print was the fact that I would become proficient in coding Excel.  Makes me gag in horror at the reality of it, to be honest.

8. I missed the bit where it said that finding real people (who you can actually sit next to) to talk to about trading is extraordinarily difficult.  Especially for a woman.

9. They didn’t tell me that it’s easier to tell people you’re an alien than it is to tell them you’re a trader.  At least being an alien is a conversation starter.

Or, on the flip side – that every clueless yokel within a 3 mile radius will feel compelled to tell me their hot tips at Saturday afternoon barbeques.

10.  They neglected to mention that no matter how brilliant your teacher or mentor is, you really do have to get up off your butt and do the work.  That your mentors can hand you the uniform and bat so you look the part, but it’s up to you to hit the ball.

11.  I wasn’t told that there is no magic bullet; in fact I was told the opposite – that there is a magic bullet and it costs $2999.  They didn’t tell me that my best weapon is the plan I’ve developed for myself and the strength I have to implement it time and time again.  That’s as magic as it gets.

12. I sure missed the memo about the labelling and name calling – I’m sure there was nothing in there about getting slapped with everything from a gambler and a materialistic money-freak to horribly selfish, greedy, and a rich cow simply because I trade.

13.  But they especially didn’t tell me that I’d happily put up with all of the above because contemplating life without trading is akin to having my head shaved and my legs lopped off.

Hideous, and entirely unthinkable.

*Hat tip to Louise Bedford, you can read her take here

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