May 04

What I have in Common With Zoolander

For those of you who have never experienced the viewing pleasure that is Zoolander, let me fill you in.   Be warned though – there’s every chance you’ll hate it because it’s not exactly a cinematic wonder but it made me laugh.  A lot.

Derek Zoolander is a remarkably stupid male model, who thinks there must be more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking.

Today I realised that Derek Zoolander and I are frighteningly alike.  And while I’ve long realised it’s not my calling to be professionally good-looking, we do share a problem that is it’s slightly…unusual.

You see, Derek is not an ambi-turner – that is, he can’t turn left.  And it appears that I have a similar difficulty.  I am not an ambi-trader.

I could never be professionally good-looking.

Why I’m Not an Ambi-Trader

If you’ve been following my blog you’ll know that I had the rather unfortunate experience of starting my trading career in July ’08, right before the Lehman Brothers turned themselves inside out.

Learning how to trade in the middle of a bear market had some pretty cool benefits, including the fact that any residual cockiness was ripped from me so fast I never had the chance to start thinking I had it going on.

I learned very quickly that I had to manage risk.  I learned very quickly not to write puts.  And I learned that a roaring trend has the potential rip my face off right off my head.

But in spite of all this, recently I’ve noticed there has been a detrimental side-effect to my bear-market birth.

I’m not an ambi-trader.

Since starting to trade shares in 2008, the Aussie equity market has provided sweet little opportunity to practice going long, and it’s showing.

I have an ‘affliction’ where I see short set-ups everywhere, but longs seem few and far between.

When I was trading equities this quirk proved very useful as I was able to short the living daylights out of things before most people realised that the market was about to tank.

But in the FX market it’s costing me money because I’m slow to recognise long triggers, and on a 5 minute chart you just don’t have the luxury of time.

I can trade the short side beautifully but I have a lag identifying long opportunities – something that is fatal in a fast market.

Fixing It.

I realise you’re waiting for me to say something very profound here, but the solution isn’t rocket science.

It’s just practice.  And then a little more practice, with a healthy side dish practice thrown in for good measure.

My short setup is second nature to me because I have had so much opportunity to short, and spent a great deal of time looking at down trending charts.  So if I want trading the long side to become second nature to me, I’m going to need to do it – over and over and over again.

So if someone would be so kind as to start an Aussie bull market, or buy a whole heaps of $AUDUSD, that would be very much appreciated.  Thanks.

The Best Bits of Zoolander


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  • http://www.what-are-my-options.blogspot.com Patrick

    Why not just invert the pairt and see a shortable chart from the other side?

    • http://www.what-are-my-options.blogspot.com Patrick

      Just turn your head upside down!

      • http://roguetraderette.wordpress.com Rogue Traderette

        LOL – I have actually done that!! :) Felt like an idiot!

  • leigh

    Turn all your charts upside down and look for shorts :)

    • http://roguetraderette.wordpress.com Rogue Traderette

      That works beautifully I have to say – only I can’t do it with my FX charts!